It's been a shitty week at work. REALLY shitty. I mean, I've come home every night this week and wanted either a stiff drink or something to hit. I'm just over it.
Today, one of my co-workers bit my head off over nothing -- in fact, I was HELPING her -- in front of several other people. I was fuming mad...I mean, seriously...spitting nails, ready to just let her know how I felt about her. I have been taking crap from people all week, and what she said was so completely out of line and uncalled for...I was just over it. My other co-worker said something to our boss, and we were met with, "Well, she's really stressed and flustered with (a bunch of work-related bullshit)." In other words, she let it go. Completely blew it off. Acted like it was NOTHING, and basically told me to suck it up.
Now, what if *I* am stressed and flustered? What if I lash out at someone because I'm overwhelmed by my job? Not that I have any reason to be...what's stressful about being short one person, slammed with high volumes of orders and phone calls like we haven't been in ages, and "supported" by a worthless production manager and lazy technical support staff? There's nothing stressful about that, right? So I have no REASON to lash out. And it wouldn't be exacerbated AT ALL by the fact that my hormones are raging (it's been almost 5 months since my last REAL period, and about 6 weeks since the brief period-wannabe I had...the hormones be snowballin'...). In fact, I work REALLY hard *NOT* to lash out at people when I'm like this. Sometimes it happens (sorry, Eddie...). But at work, I try really, really hard to keep it from happening.
So why is it that when someone else is stressed, or flustered, or just being a bitch, I have to just roll over and take it? Why can't I let fly and snap someone's head off? Fuck that.
So. Over. It.
I'd have a stiff drink -- and believe me, I've seriously considered it -- but wait! That's right, I have to go through life as if I'm pregnant JUST IN FUCKING CASE I am. Nevermind the fact that it's been over 4 years...just my luck, the night I decide to go on a bender with my good buddy Smirnoff will be the night before I get a positive test. So no, I *can't* drink even when I *want* to, because I COULD be pregnant. It's been 4 goddamned years, and all I want is ONE night to just drink myself stupid. Or hell, just a couple of drinks to get me giggly. Something. But I can't.
Great. All my lady hormones are making my job even more unbearable, and all I want is a fucking drink to defrazzle my nerves, but I *can't* because the goddamn lady hormones that are making me feel this way in the first place COULD mean I'm pregnant.
My co-worker is allowed to lash out at me because "she's stressed and flustered"? Fuck that. I'll show you "stressed and flustered".