Saturday, December 22, 2007

On being sensitive to the infertile...

I think this article should be required reading for everyone, everywhere:

A snippet that I rather like:

"Don't Minimize the Problem

Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.

Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child. "

We get this ALL THE TIME. We are fully aware that life with a baby will not be easy...however, we seem to be much more aware than most PARENTS that life *without* a baby can be even harder. Sure, you lose sleep because your baby won't sleep through the night, and you can't "go out" on a whim without finding a babysitter. I can empathize with that. But please learn to empathize with the fact that we lose sleep because we don't have a baby at all, and we can't "go out" without seeing babies and pregnant bellies. The gods favor no one...I would gladly trade being able to travel, sleep late, and go out on a whim for sleepless nights, diaper changes, and stretch marks.

No comments: